- Published on Thursday, 05 June 2014 09:30
The date is set, the invitations are sent out, the seating arrangements finalised, and the hotels are booked, but you feel like you are Julia Roberts in the film “Runaway Bride.” So what do you do when butterflies take over your stomach days before you walk down the aisle?
Wedding jitters can start the moment you begin talking about getting married, your loved one proposes, to the moment you’re walking down the aisle. These things happen because marriage is truly a life changing event. Having cold feet doesn’t necessarily mean you’re having second thoughts about the person you’re going to exchange vows with. Wedding jitters are, essentially, just the fear of the unknown.
To help you understand these things better, here’s a list of the top reasons for having pre-wedding jitters, and how you can get over them.
The Wedding Day
Sometimes, it’s the big day itself that causes anxiety. Having your family and friends gathered for a whole day or weekend can cause a great deal of anxiety, especially if there are divorces, stepparents, estranged relatives, or just one particularly difficult relative in the audience.
Whether you’re afraid someone will make a scene, won’t attend, or will ruin your big day, you can deal with it. Get support for your wedding day. Talk to your wedding planner and have them plan everything down to a tee. This should help ease your tensions.
The “Husband” or “Wife” Title
Your parents’ marriage is likely your blueprint, or at least standard, for your own marriage. You watched how their love story blossomed or wilted, how they faced challenges, and how they coped with it. Sometimes, it’s this fear of becoming just like your mom or dad, not living up to your standards or expectations, or not being able to make them proud that causes the cold feet.
Understand that there is no blueprint; you and your partner write your own story right. You dictate what type of wife or husband you become, or what parts of your parents’ marriage you want to keep or throw out.
The Married Life
In many relationships, the big questions are the game changers, and in married life, this includes questions such as do you want kids, when, how many, where do you want to live, how much money are you planning to make, who stays home with the kids, and other questions. These can all pile up and contribute to your jitters.
Know that you have to talk about these things with your loved one before the wedding. If you believe things will work themselves out, they won’t. You will have to face these conflicts, and it’s better to do so sooner rather than later.
Wedding jitters don’t mean your wedding is doomed or that you’re choosing the wrong person. It just means you’re anxious about something, and you need to understand what it is.